Aussie Ladette Sparkette

My Blog Has Moved

2009-05-22T19:32:00.003+10:00

Hey Everyone

I have moved my Blog to: http://www.sarahbrunton.com/

Im still setting it up, but come over and have a look anyway all my new posts will be going there from now on

Sarah

Feminine Confidance Is NOT The Same As A Decorated Fuck Doll For The Pleasure Of Men

2009-05-19T19:06:00.012+10:00

A lot have people have told me I have changed since EH, while I don’t believe that is true because you can’t change someone’s personality.

I guess the way I choose to do some things has changed a bit though, but that’s what it was all about right?

My bedroom actually looks like a girl lives in it these days. While the big tool box off the back of my Ute still lives in my room, as there is no shed here. The amount of chic stuff I own now kind of makes it less noticeable.

I still own and use my 15+ chap stick, I have however added a variety of colored and sparkly lip-glosses to the Eggleston Hall make up collection. Its even possible to get a conversation out of me on eyelash tinting or eyebrow mascara these days.

Instead of investing in a new power drill and grinder from the hard wear shop. The newest additions to my power tool collection are a hair dryer and hair straighter. Never thought I'd see the day!

Oh and can't forget the epilady.. That was a $10 bet after a few beer's where my cousin filmed me epilady my arms cos hairy arms are yuk.. Ask Nikki from the show she started the whole arm hair thing!! Do it once, you have no choice but to continue. Kind of like the first time you shave your legs in high school.

When I open my cupboard there are 7 dresses in there along with heaps of girly tops hanging along side the stuff I used to wear with jeans. I still have my favorite RM shirt that my friends call my Steve Irwin shirt. I still buy RM’s and wrangler just the more girly stuff.

Jewelry is another big addition; I actually wear a watch everyday. I have this cute little very chic watch that I got duty free coming back from the UK. I like earrings so much that 2 isn't enough so I recently got a 2nd piercing in each ear so I can wear more of the cool earrings I was given for my 30th. I did own a very limited amount of jewelry before that only came out for weddings and funerals, now I actually have a designated jewelry box and wear this stuff every day.

It's been fun the last 6 months actually shopping for nice stuff that I never had the confidence to wear before. I don't wear make up and get dressed up for work everyday because I don't need to. But when I go out with friends It’s nice to dress up a bit and let my hair down.

Perfume is an every day thing.... Well I have 30 years of not using it to catch up on, and I like it.

I have added 2 pairs of heels a black pair and a brown pair to what used to be a collection of boots only. I used to just have work boots, horse riding boots, ugg boots and good going out riding boots + a pair of thongs. I bought this awesome pair of very girly Uggies the other day to replace my blokey ones that got left in the UK. They are COOL.

I own a few handbags now too; I did have one before that rarely got used now I have choices.

I still probably own less ‘Girly’ stuff than most women my age, but at least I know about all of this stuff now. The last six months has been more of a crash course in discovering my feminine side than I had even realised until I was cleaning my room the other day and it hit me noticing all the chic stuff I now own. I like it and I’m happy that I have discovered my feminine side.

Dressing up every now and then, taking pride in your appearance by doing 'girly' stuff is NOT being a Decorated Fuck Doll For The Pleasure Of Men.

The Reality Roller Coaster Ride

2009-05-07T20:43:00.006+10:00

The limbo I experienced after returning from filming and waiting for the series to air was the most frustrating time of my life. I wanted to start my life outside the show as well as gain the deserved recognition for my achievements.

I was itching for my 15 minutes of fame. Wanting people to feed my ego and tell me how good I was, needing that reassurance to keep the self confidence I had found.

I didn’t want to revert back into many of my previous habits and situations. I saw the coming opportunity's to make a clean break from my past and move into a more positive future.

Previously people around me often remarked with hints of jealousy at my life and carefree attitude to it, sometimes suggesting we should trade. No one could understand why I would want more than what id already worked so hard for and seemed to enjoy. I found myself isolated. More isolated than I was locked behind the doors of Eggleston Hall.

I started to write about the most psychologically and emotionally intense experience of my life. In writing I found a vent, somewhere to let myself go, somewhere I can hide when I don’t want the world near me. Somewhere my secrets are safe and I can empty my head. I can lay myself emotionally bare without being misunderstood.

The emotional roller coaster continued as the show aired I hoped I was grounded and ready to face what I imagined was coming. I still couldn't say a lot of the things that I wanted to and be open and honest with my close friends. It was like I had been on a holiday I couldn't talk about.

Going out to party's became tiring and not fun because people who don’t know you feel the need to have a conversation with you. Going to the shops is not how it used to be, people staring at what brand of milk you choose from the fridge and what brand of washing powder you have in your other hand.

This is the side of being temporary public property that I hadn’t thought about. I had considered the random conversations but not the over excited people having their brush with fame and the public gossip that also goes along with putting your self out there on TV.

Trying to keep the random conversations energetic and positive the same way I did when being interviewed by random journo’s. The whole situation was exhausting and not really fun at all.

Since the show has been over its been fun being out and about and recognised, Its a bit of a buzz and the conversations are much more light hearted than before. I don't get asked who won any more and don't have to keep secrets.

Life has resumed some normality. It will never be quiet the way it was because of the way I have used the situation for my own good. I chose to move on in a new direction.

My Curiosity Confession

2009-04-19T10:01:00.008+10:00

I have a confession to make, I bought a chic mag and read it out of curiosity.

Not my typical weekend reading. I just wanted to know what was inside the glossy pages of this mag that girls find so fascinating and why they buy it every month.

The front cover had me even more intrigued, A photo of a celebrity, the words sex, naked and I love you, something about make up and diets. That's pretty much it.

So what did I learn from spending $7 on a chic mag? well my horoscope told me that I need to get a sexy haircut and a seemingly sincere guy could well be a player...whatever that means.

I learned that there is a vibrator called a pulsator and a mini outter??? Fascinating stuff.

Amongst the celeb gossip and articles on how to impress guys the stand out theme of the mag was image. There was no encouragement in there for girls to just be themselves to impress a guy, It was all about how to dress, diet and decorate your self to catch a man.

When I got further into the mag there was a pic of me and the other ladettes, I didn't even know about it.

I was disappointed that the message that seemed the theme of this mag is to be fake, Be A Decorated Fuck Doll on a diet. This is what will catch and keep your guy!!

Never mind being yourself, being comfortable with who you are and following your own dreams.

How can you ever be happy in a relationship if your not happy with yourself and the direction of your own life? You Can't.

Share House, Party House Or Alien Safe House

2009-04-15T16:10:00.012+10:00

Maybe It's Just me who has had trouble finding a share house that isn't a 24/7 party house. Somewhere sleep is possible not optional. Somewhere the housemates are fun but respect each others responsibilities.

Ive been looking for a while and Its been frustrating, but funny all the same I have met some interesting characters. I think that a reality TV show could be made by following people in search of a share house.

Maybe its just me that's had this kinda weird stuff happen, All I seem to get is real sterile joints where you could eat off the floor and the house mates clearly have no personality or houses that I'm sure are safe havens for the alien's amongst us.

I walked out of one yesterday where I'm sure they removed the foil from the windows for the 10 minutes I was there. It left me wondering what experiments they did on their last housemate.

Definitely not the sort of people I could have a joke with or play the occasional prank on. Or even laugh hysterically about some silly idiosyncrasies we have discovered by living together.

Then there was a chick who when I told her I work for a Union she shut down the conversation immediately, saying that 'there is no way she could live with someone of my political opinions'

One I really liked the chic seemed fun, I got turned off though when she offered me a bong before showing me the room

Two more stand out experiences, the gay guy who was almost jumping up and down with excitement when he answered the door and recognised me from TV. I ended up giving him my autograph as I left, that house was a full time party place not exactly what I'm looking for right now. Then there was the chic from the Alien house who clearly stated 'we enjoy our privacy here, without to many visitors' I left there wondering where they bury the bodies, didn't bother checking out the back yard Id seen enough.

So my search is still on, I'm wondering if a reasonable share house actually exists outside my imagination!!

Weird Questions And People That Make You Want To Throw Your Phone

2009-04-13T23:25:00.003+10:00

I knew going on TV would make me familiar to people, I expected some random attention when out and about doing normal stuff. To be honest it has been fun having my 15 min’s of fame. This is some of the stuff that’s happened.

The funniest has been a bloke at a pub who asked me to autograph the side of his UTE.

The sweetest was a gay guy that wanted a photo holding hands.

Most Commonly is just someone you don’t know wanting a photo with you.

Most uncomfortable would be when people are talking about you within hearing
distance..Point at you or yell out your name from the other side of the street.

What I found confronting was people who need to hug you without asking first if that’s ok.

One of my favorite moments, I was in the city having a coffee waiting to meet a friend I thought I had escaped the daily recognition by hiding behind a newspaper. At the next table was a group of 4 pommy Grandma’s gossiping loudly about what rubbish L2L was and how ‘Those girls all just needed more discipline as children’ Then they spot me and all wanted to chat about England and what a wonderful experience it must have been??? I don’t know, but they did say in the end they thought I’d scrubbed up all right.

Probably the most frustrating situation that almost made me want to copy Russell and throw my phone. I was having dinner with a guy and this woman came over to our table said some nice things and asked questions. When I considered the conversation over she started asking really personal questions about me to my friend as if I had become invisable. We were saved by the waitress who told her after about 10 mins to 'please stop disturbing the other customers or you can leave.'

It’s been fun, most people have been nice

The Reality Of Loosing My Sister

2009-04-02T21:07:00.001+11:00

The 2nd Anniversary of my sister’s death is approaching which people keep reminding me, I find myself reminiscing about the times we shared. Like me taking my big sister to the local pub for her first time when she was 30! Sharing a bedroom as kids and her drawing a chalk line down the center, which I was to keep my mess, on my side of. My sister loving my crazy impulsive ideas, and me. How proud and sometimes jealous she was of my independence. Her laughing for a week about what I told her kids, who found the coins in the back yard that had fallen out of my pocket after I stumbled home from the local and was peeing behind the shed at midnight.

I feel slightly selfish withdrawing into my little grief bubble for a day. Especially with all the exciting things going on in my life right now. But there is someone I love missing, who I wish could be sharing it with me. Keeping my ego safely grounded, laughing with and at me, the way only a sibling can.

I reflect on how my brothers and I pulled the family together using our individual strengths while in the depth of our own grief together. The emotional fatigue of other peoples grief being dumped on you unintentionally, as they tell you how she was and what she said last time they saw her. The sadness of not being able to find many photo’s of us together.

I’m still so proud that I carried my sister’s coffin that day with my brothers and male cousins, and I get angry when I remember the 3 separate men who criticized me as a woman, for doing that. When it’s your own blood in that wooden box there’s no choice, I did what had to be done. I don’t think some men will ever be comfortable with that.

So when you think I’m being a show pony when I take a photo of us together doing something normal or I ask you to take one of me doing something stupid and funny when we are out. Take a moment to consider how much more important recording our lives is to me since I lost my sister. I only have my memories and a few mostly child hood photo’s of us together to reflect on.

The Reality Of Reality TV

2009-03-28T09:44:00.003+11:00

The show is over finally; I can get on with my plans. But not before giving a bit more inside on what actually goes on behind the scenes to participants in Reality TV.

We put ourselves out there and have had to cope with all the publicity, good and bad. That’s fine, what is not fine in my opinion is the way some of the girls have been treated. In fact its down right lousy they way they have been manipulated and bullied. I certainly wouldn’t put up with it at work and would not expect anyone else to.

Firstly we all signed a participant agreement. Which basically has a whole heap of big words to say that they can do what they like with any of the sound and visual recordings forever. Also we can only talk to people that they give us permission to speak with.

I expected some things that have happened because Id had good advice from someone who had been through it. I expected to be dumped the second I am no longer useful for publicity. I observed with interest how I was told what a good ambassador for the show I am and all the other pissing in my pocket that went on. I smiled to myself every time this happened because I knew it was only a matter of time before they would start distancing themselves from me and eventually shut down.

Sadly for some of the other girls they have believed most of the crap they have been told and are now feeling very upset, some depressed and confused because of it. While others are still to intimidated to speak up. There are some who think they will get a start in TV after this without any qualifications in that industry. Good luck to them If they do.

My experience is not negative; I personally gained a lot from L2L. I learnt things useful to me and have integrated into my life those things that I wanted. For me it was always about self-improvement not self-help. I already had a career, self-respect and motivation. I only wanted the feminine skills that I lacked so I would have the confidence to pursue a law degree.

Before anyone decides to participate in any sort of reality TV show. My advice is to speak to someone who has been through it and don’t believe half of the rubbish your told. At least go into it with your eyes open and have NO FEAR. Get from the experience what you want. Otherwise you are risking it being a horrible and negative chapter in your life.

My Speech At Eggleston Hall Graduation...What You Didn't See!

2009-03-23T20:27:00.003+11:00

Mrs Harboard , Ladies and Gentlemen

Being powerful is like being a lady, If you have to tell people you are; you aren’t

It is a privilege for me to be here today to congratulate my three room mates on graduating from Eggleston Hall. The four of us have shared so much since arriving in England. We have laughed, cried, often not understood each others behaviour, we all lacked self confidence, and none of us were prepared for the emotional Journey that has taken place.

We have learned new ways to accept our individual uniqueness. I know now that there are other ways to conduct myself. I realize that the teachers were not trying to turn us into dolls for the service and pleasure of men, but to give us the skills to conquer any challenge throughout our lives.

Well done all of you, I know we have all been equipped to be proud ambassadors of Australia, Let us not forget Eggleston Hall school moto : She who conquers, conquers herself.

My Self Ammusement, And something To Think About

2009-03-10T19:16:00.002+11:00

Since returning from my latest adventure I find it totally amusing eating with people….Let me explain....

For some reason some people seem to think that in 5 weeks I have become an etiquette expert. I have even noticed that I get stared at in public while I’m eating. Then people start to copy me, and apologize to me for their ‘bad manners’ i.e. licking a knife picking up a piece of food with their hands the stuff we all do when no one is looking.

So In return I have created my own self-amusement by pretending sometimes that I am still in England and Mrs. Harboad is about to walk into the room. I have noticed how self-conscious people become when you just stare at them over the dinner table without saying a word. Just slightly raising the eyebrows makes them uncomfortable enough to start justifying their behavior to me. Also the comments like ‘ask sarah what the correct way is’.

Most of it I couldn’t care less about unless I was out on a Date with a hot bloke, he would deffinately loose points for talking with a mouth full of food. So the question is raised where does etiquette fit into our laid back Australian lives? Do we have a moral obligation to teach our children some sort of formal etiquette? What table manners are socially acceptable and in what social setting?

We all know Australians don’t loose sleep over this stuff we eat how we feel like it because we don’t care what people think of us. We accept each other. Who cares what those tossers think, they have never done a hard days work in their lives.

But I know there has deffinatly been no harm done for me to now know this stuff. If nothing else it serves as self-amusement and enthusiastic dinner table conversation from the kids through to grand parents. All thanks to Eggleston Hall.

Seriously, what did they expect from a bunch of convict descendants who have been left to tame this continent for over 200 years.

Anyone free for dinner Friday?

Like Kevin I Have Decided It's Time To Say Sorry

2009-03-08T23:34:00.001+11:00

I’m not apologizing to the indigenous, the x boyfriends or to any of you guys who vote Liberal that I argue with when i’m drunk.

I have decided its time I apologize to all my family and friends who live in Sydney that I put crap on all the time

Now that I’m faced with the possibility of having to go back to the big smoke for work I thought id better get this out.

I apologize to all of you city dwellers for giving you crap about you shoebox size apartments, when I live in a done up shoebox size shed on 40 acres.

I apologize that I have not appreciated the architecture and craftsmanship of Sydney’s historical buildings, but preferred the history of snowy mountain huts and random country pubs.

I apologize that I had not until this week sat under a morten bay fig tree in Hyde park and eaten a sandwich, But preferred gum trees and meat pies.

I apologize that I had not before enjoyed shopping at the funky little shops in King ST Newtown, but preferred shopping at Straddle A Saddle in The Oaks.

I apologize that I don’t like swimming at public pools in summer, why would I when i have lived most of my life near a dam, creek or river.

I apologize that i’m not as educated on international cuisine as you, I’m just so used to camp oven creations.

I’m sorry that I don’t consider walking around the concrete footpaths dodging vomit puddles relaxing, I rather a leisurely stroll through the paddock kicking horse poo while checking a fence.

I’m sorry that I don’t find noisy nightclubs full of multicultural prejudice ready to erupt fun, I prefer to get drunk under the stars next to a camp fire where I can sleep where I fall and not wake up at the cop shop.

I’m sorry that I cant tolerate the constant sound of traffic when I stay at your house, All we get here is the occasional fox cry, dog bark or native birds singing at dawn.

I don’t think Sydney and I can ever have a full time relationship again, but i'm willing to give it another chance, as a working relationship only.